Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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