i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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