Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
