I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I am never drinking with the goths again.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize