Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
