its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Can I color on your dick again?
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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