"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
