this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
