I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Randomize
