remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
