Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
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