I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
