i don't like sucking hair
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
We left an ass print on the piano.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
