just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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