No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
