are you still at the devil's house?
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize