I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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