he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
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