Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
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