Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
