don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
