It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
operation have a gay friend backfired
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
