I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Randomize
