I heard we made out
Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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