Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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