I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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