You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Screwed.edu
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Randomize
