I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
