I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize