i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
