Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
