I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
