so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
