we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
