your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
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