tonight lets celebrate not being married
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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