Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
