Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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