this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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