found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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