I smell stomach acid.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
