i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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