After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
