lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
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