this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
