im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Randomize
