I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize