Im at strip club and am horny
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
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