No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
