dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
