Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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