I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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