Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
