I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Randomize
