The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
