Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
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