he puts the penis in happiness.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I need to stop coming to work sober
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
